How to Get Around Food Pushers & Bad Eaters When You Want to Make A Change

Let’s get clear on what I mean.

Food pushers are those people that say; “You can have just one. It won’t kill you!” “You can have just one. You only live once.” “You work so hard. You look great. Go ahead, you can have one. I won’t tell.”

And bad eaters are grown-ups, real adults-that still eat like a kid. Their palate hasn’t evolved passed their 12- year old self and they are fussier than a toddler when it comes to anything remotely nutritious.

That is too extreme… but, it paints the picture nicely.

All you want is to change the way you eat, including your relationship with food, workout a bit more and finally feel better about yourself.

But between food pushers and kid-like eating behaviours, all you can see is sabotage all around you. The conversations and the environment surrounding you is making it seem impossible to reach your goals and way to easy to give in.

I feel frustrated for you.

Rather than focussing on “them”, let’s turn inwards and ask ourselves some honest-to-goodness questions.

First off, do people have the right to make you feel bad about your choices? Whether that means the change you want to make in your eating habits or exercise habits? Do you believe that the choice is yours? If you don’t, are you giving your power over to them?

For the most part, we are riddled with guilt. Do we need someone else’s thoughts about our food choices leaving us feeling guiltier?

Does it come down to comfort? Is it our responsibility to make them feel comfortable about something YOU’RE eating or about the changes YOU want to make? From my experience, their discomfort or lack of comfort with your choices, your change, has more to do with the lack-thereof- their own.

Easier said than done. No one wants to feel judged. Not me.

Here’s the truth: I have found myself dishing it out when it comes to my husbands’ choices and reflecting on where that is coming from.

Just this past weekend when he came home with donuts and other ‘treats’, I was quick to say; “What! Are you 12?”

Total judgement!

Then it hit me, this has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. Why was I uncomfortable with his food choices?

It boils down to this: Why can he eat all that and not worry about his weight or feel guilty? And...by golly…how can he have just one bite and put the rest away?

I hear similar stories from my clients. “He eats all this ‘crap’ and doesn’t feel guilty. Can stop when he wants and doesn’t worry about his weight. Meanwhile, I avoid buying those foods for fear of giving into the temptation and I avoid some of my favourite restaurants because I know what will happen.”

I also hear it coming from clients with weight loss goals surrounded by friends without weight loss goals that eat whatever they want, when they want. My clients sometimes express that they ‘give in’ or feel like ‘they deserve it too.’

When you are faced with the child-like eater or that food pusher, there are two things to consider before kicking your frustration into overdrive and giving in:

1. Do they have a better relationship with food than you? My husband can buy donuts and other treat-like-foods and have it sit in the cupboards for weeks on end. He has been known to buy donuts that go stale before he feels inclined to eat them. He can have 1 chip out of the bag. 1 cookie or just one candy. He doesn’t deprive himself and therefore doesn’t have obsessive thinking, desire or binge- eating episodes to have it all the time.

2. Are their weight loss goals the same as yours? Sure, my husband talks about his weight, but does he approach weight loss the same way I do? Maybe he is just kind of ready? Or his goals have nothing to do with weight loss or resemble anything like the goals I have for myself.

My point is, it is easy to get caught up in the moment of “You only live once.” “He’s doing it, so why can’t I?” “I deserve it, just like he does.” And by no means am I saying don’t have what you enjoy. It is merely to point out how quickly we can justify our impulsive decisions without looking at the larger picture.

It is also to say; “How do you judge your food choices and the food choices of others?”

We all do it. We all want to feel like our choices are the right ones.

We want to feel accepted when others around us are doing it and comfortable in that space too.

Rather than placing blame, getting caught up in the impulse or resenting the other person, is it time to look inwards?

When do you give in?

What is the running dialogue?

What are the emotions attachment to your choices?

When do you make people feel uncomfortable so that you can feel better about yourself or your choices??

By asking yourself some hard questions, you can start to see where you own uncomfortableness with food and your body lies and start to move forward with your goals.

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ABOUT THE COACH COACH CINDY POLE OWNER OF ALL OUT TRAINING Level 1 Precision Nutrition Coach, Core Confidence Coach "I understand that sustainable health habits come from a place of self-love and ones greatest hurdle is not what you eat or how you exercise but how you view yourself. To find true happiness with yourself and in your body, you must start with your mindset. Change the inner dialogue. Change your life." All Out Training exists to help people frustrated with their fitness levels and those with an unhealthy relationship with food to develop the skills needed to maintain a healthier lifestyle so they can lose weight, move better, feel stronger, have more self-confidence, and, ultimately, feel their best.We are anti-dieting. All Out Training offers in-person classes from small groups to bootcamps as well as 3 online programs. Learn more about your Coach and All Out Training