PERMISSION TO PAUSE: What being sick taught me about taking care of my body

A couple of weeks ago, I got hit with a nasty flu bug. I felt it brewing for about a week before - It started with body aches and fatigue, and then all of a sudden, BOOM it was here! Fever, chills, the whole gamut.

Leading up to it, I could tell my workouts were suffering. I not only struggled through them, but I also had a hard time recovering from them afterwards. That should have been my first clue that my body needed rest. During my mid-week workout with my gym buddy, my mind played a tug of war with “Am I sick or am I just wussing out?” I kept thinking to myself, “Just suck it up Cindy!” Then the guilt monster arrived, along with the negative self-talk gremlins: “Missing another workout, Cindy?” “How will you ever accomplish your goals?” I heard them incessantly whisper “You’ll gain weight. People will notice!” These negative-thought demons silenced the rational voice that said; “That isn’t possible from missing just one workout, or a week of being sick - you have never questioned a missed workout, before so why now?” My voice of reason all but faded in the background, engulfed by guilt and worry. It is amazing how all of a sudden, we can allow all those negative thoughts and words to rear their ugly heads and invade our minds – we believe that by taking a day off, we minimize all the work we have put in; if we are sick, all that hard work goes right out the window. It is so easy to forget that YOU hold the cards, and YOU get to declare the winner at any point.

It is not just about working OUT, but, working IN. Sustainable fitness and transformation works from the inside out. Yes, sweating regularly and nurturing your body with nutritious food are integral to our health, but it’s what goes on inside your head and heart that drives the entire process. So, why do we argue with our body when it is in need of some nurturing on the inside? Somehow we forget about the working IN part when we need it – it’s important to remember that listening to our bodies and taking a break is all part of the transformation process.,

That week, I eventually reached a point where enough was enough. What purpose does my guilt serve but to make me feel sorry for myself? It’s at times like this, I reach out to close friends to help ground me and remind me that it’s okay to rest my body. But why is it so darn hard to give myself that permission?

As it turns out, telling ourselves to take a break is not all that easy. We have a built-in negativity bias, where we tend to weigh negative events or situations much more strongly than positive ones. Personally, I know that I have equated feeling vulnerable as a sign of weakness, but in fact those are two completely different things.

Surrendering to something out of your control is challenging. I like being in control. I like routine. But, I think at the root of it, it all comes down to Am I good enough? There is nothing wrong with striving for excellence by your terms, however, too often we strive for perfection. At some point it is important to say to ourselves “I AM GOOD ENOUGH DAMN IT!” Missing some workouts to nurture my body and give it a break doesn’t make me less than enough - and today, I am still more than enough.

So, the next time the monsters and negative-thought gremlins rear their ugly heads, instead of asking yourself “Should I work out today?” try asking “What does my body need?” and re-affirm it with “I am good enough!” See how that goes the next time I guess ;)