What It Looks Like Getting Really Lean and Having Rock-Solid Abs

2018 was a bucket list kind of year for this coach. After five years sitting on the fence about whether I should compete or not, I turned 37 and said, “Why not?” and “Why not me?”

To back track, six years ago I worked with a coach to get photoshoot ready. I’d say I crushed that goal, but it went downhill quickly. I felt sad and really messed up when it came to food and my body. Nothing was satisfying, I couldn’t stop eating, I had no energy. I felt dumb, and my body was all out of whack. Not to mention, I was sad about everything. It was really about obsessive behaviours, restrictive-binge eating patterns, self-doubt and negative body images. Intellectually, I understood what was going to happen to my body post photoshoot but emotionally, I was ill informed and ill prepared. You can see why I sat on the fence about competing for five years.

For five years I worked on myself. How to workout to be strong instead of skinny and setting other goals that weren’t about my body like how to eat like a normal person, not be emotionally attached to food, and to stop being so hard on myself. I got off the fence and did it because I felt I had done so much prep work on learning who I am and what I needed. It was different this time around because I wasn’t trying to ‘live’ that lifestyle. It was a goal and once I achieved it, it was back to where I was, the person I wanted to be, doing the things I enjoyed, for reasons that mattered. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud that I did something scary and out of my comfort zone. It reaffirmed a lot of things for me too and helped me reconnect with clients that are still living a dieting lifestyle. After all, when clients come to me, they are embarking on a scary journey themselves.

At 37, I got up on stage in my itty-bitty, rhinestone bikini and my umpa-lumpa tan in five-inch plastic heels and called up my courage to show it all off in front of judges and people. I competed in two classes and took home a 2nd and 4th place medal. I qualified to go onto the next level but knew it wasn’t what I wanted or what I needed. I felt very resolved going to bed that night with that decision.

The difference? I knew what to expect on all levels once the day came and went, and I wasn’t trying to continue that lifestyle or keeping that hard look. Sure, we all like feeling good about how we look, but ultimately, I hope that you’re working out because of the other ways it makes you feel—strong, powerful, and like you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to.

It’s cool to admire and follow people that have your dream look, but have you ever considered the trades to get there and sustain it? For me, it isn’t worth all that. Although I won’t list them all, here are a few that happened to me over a six-month training schedule:

• You make your own food and measure every meal down to the last gram based on a very regiment meal plan. Everything is counted from what you eat, lick, or sip.

• Food becomes plain for the most part: water with plain rice puffs or oats, dry Ezekiel toast.

• You are bound by the clock: when to eat and drink, no variation, stick to the meal plan. Be a robot! (I heard that a lot.)

• Someone else tells you when and how much to eat.

• You miss out on time with your partner and friends because of the two hours or more of training per day and your eating schedule. You say no to a lot of things and not always because you want to.

• You train when you are feeling lazy, overwhelmed, or exhausted. Seven. Days. A. Week.

• Sleep is at a premium. Staying up late… forget about it!

• You can’t think straight because you’re hungry, tired, or thinking about eating or exercise.

• You are either spending your time in the kitchen, gym, or sleeping.

• Your body starts shutting down: no period, dizzy spells all the time.

• I was irritable, stressed and anxious. My mood swings were terrible.

• Nobody cares. The world continues around you. People do what they always do. They don’t care about your training or eating schedule, even though it is all you can think of.

Now think about all that while trying to balance a job, friends, relationships, kids… I know people do it. Of course, it can be done. Do you want to do it to achieve that look? For how long?

The cost of living that lifestyle costs energy, health, quality of life, and I would even go as far to say longevity. It isn’t the pillar of health but at its expense.

I’m a proponent of trades (salad instead of fries all the time, water instead of pop, one cookie instead of a whole sleeve) and balance (work, play, social time, training, and rest). Of course, an obsession can have negative ramifications on health, wellness, and mental health. Think of a workaholic. Training and dieting are no different.

It takes an extreme amount of discipline compounded by strict guidelines to get up on stage, an aggressive timetable to get it done, and very little room for emotional despondency. Discipline is important in all areas of life. Whether you want your disciplined focus in this area, appearance, or somewhere else like learning to be consistent, working towards a skill, or practicing the habit of getting up in the morning to get your workout in is a choice.

All of these things require discipline, but they also allow you to have a rest day or a cookie here and there.

Why am I sharing this? Because I hear it from clients all the time, mostly woman, who desire flat, clearly defined abs. It is idealized as being THE female body and the look we should all have. Sure, a flat stomach can be cool for some, but there are other cool things to achieve too. What no one talks about is the life changes that can happen once you arrive. Few think about what happens once you are there.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no regrets getting up on stage. It was a learning experience for me and reaffirmed I can do anything I want. But let me stress that I did five years of really hard work to figure out who I was and what I wanted for myself. I really became my own person in those years.

It’s great to have body fat goals, to want more muscle, strength and energy. But consider who your comparison is and your reasons for doing it. Not all goals have to be about weight or your looks and if you are chasing it for magical transformation, it won’t come. The transformation is always in the journey, not in the outcome. This whole thing is about living your best life all the time and not just from one moment to the next.

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