Self-sabotage. Can you recognize these 10 signs?

People often reach out to trainers like myself because they are seeking a different health or fitness outcome, whether they want to lose weight or gain muscle. Sometimes they just want to be able to properly nourish their body in a way that optimizes their efforts. Or they want their efforts to yield positive feedback and remarks. Other times, they reach out because of pure frustration from endless attempts to get healthy, and never achieve what they desire.

Ah...there it is! Self-sabotage. Can you see the subtlety? Sometimes we don’t even know we are doing it. It doesn’t always look bad on the surface – in fact, it usually looks more like a coping mechanism. We can easily rationalize and justify what we are thinking and doing if we are not being honest with ourselves.

Still don’t see self-sabotage happening? Think about the following self-sabotaging behaviours and beliefs:

• Caring about what other people think;

• Continuously trying and never asking for help;

• Working out but not eating in a way that maximizes results;

• Eating anything you want and thinking that you can just work it off;

• Eating anything you want and thinking if you do a cleanse, everything will balance out;

• Not being consistent;

• Not forgiving yourself for past attempts;

• Approaching health and fitness from a body-negative approach instead of self-love;

• Always relying on willpower to get you through;

• Doing what worked for someone else and not what works for you.

Now do you see it? All the ways that self-sabotage pops up and gets in the way of good intentions: weight loss, better health, confidence, self-worth, consistent energy, great sleep… the list goes on.

Self-sabotage can show up in many different aspects of our lives: in our relationship with food (binge eating, binge drinking, detoxes and cleanses); in the way we perceive exercise (too hard, too long, hurts, awful); in our relationships with family and friends; in that never-ending to-do list! It not only affects our behaviour but also the way we think – and ultimately our beliefs. It manifests as fear (failure and success); feeling unworthy; thinking “I can always do better” or “I’m not good enough”; never living in the moment; seeking perfection; procrastination; and the continuous pursuance of a goal, even when it has lost meaning and worth.

Ultimately, sabotage is a form of fear. It has a lot to do with ingrained beliefs and thoughts that transpire into unhealthy behaviours, which set up barriers to building new and sustainable habits.

Sometimes they start as a way to protect ourselves or as a way to ‘get in control’. I remember my first fitness photo-shoot and how hyper-focused I was to reaching my physique goals. I was so determined to get there and I became oblivious to the things around me that I was pushing off. Looking back (because hindsight is always 20/20), life around me felt misplaced; my relationship with my spouse became tense; I was working through feelings around my childhood and relationship with my parents; I was in the wrong job; and I was just questioning life. Being so overly focused on reaching my goal was a way (superficially of course) to feel like I was in the driver’s seat.

Self-sabotage… do you see it now?

There is always a lesson, of course. The one thing I learned was to admit that I didn’t have all the answers. I was worth more than some damn pictures and the way my body looked. I learned that I can apply the same focus to other parts of my life that weren’t in alignment with the life that I really wanted. I learned to ask for help. I needed to ask for help so that I didn’t spin my wheels and fall into the same self-sabotagging trap. I recognized that I didn’t have all the answers and that I needed to surround myself with people who supported my vision and had those answers I was seeking.

It’s important to look at self-sabotage in a different way so that you can consider how it might be negatively affecting your own life and goals. It can be hard to face the facts and ask yourself those tough questions. So ask yourself this:

1. Do I feel like I have it all figured out, but my results aren’t showing it?

2. Have I been in this situation before?

3. Have I asked for help lately?

4. Am I struggling?

5. What am I fearful of?

6. When was the last time I invested in me?

7. In the areas that I am struggling, who can I turn to who has some answers?

When you have answered these 7 questions, ask yourself: Am I engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours and thoughts? Some hard truths may be up ahead, but I believe it is better to face them than live a life of self-sabotage and unauthenticity. Don’t you?

For another great blog post on Self- Sabotaging Habits To Stop Right Now, click here.

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ABOUT THE COACH COACH CINDY POLE OWNER OF ALL OUT TRAINING Level 1 Precision Nutrition Coach, Core Confidence Coach "I understand that sustainable health habits come from a place of self-love and ones greatest hurdle is not what you eat or how you exercise but how you view yourself. To find true happiness with yourself and in your body, you must start with your mindset. Change the inner dialogue. Change your life." All Out Training exists to help people frustrated with their fitness levels and those with an unhealthy relationship with food to develop the skills needed to maintain a healthier lifestyle so they can lose weight, move better, feel stronger, have more self-confidence, and, ultimately, feel their best.We are anti-dieting. All Out Training offers in-person classes from small groups to bootcamps as well as 3 online coaching programs & downloadable programs & resources. Learn more about your Coach and All Out Training here.