“If I could just get control, I would be…”

Perhaps it is time to think of control as a figment of our imaginations – merely an illusion that is never really fully obtainable.

How can you really measure control? By some arbitrary rules that you set up for yourself, only to then have life, in all its chaos, get in the way? We are inevitably left re-negotiating with ourselves, making adjustments to our myriad of rules of control, whether it be what we put in our mouths or the number of times we hit the gym.

You can’t make food go your way all the time.

You have triggers.

You have emotional needs.

Life is a constant state of flux.

Maybe you have a partner and kids who, despite their verbal support for your own personal rules around food and exercise, don’t seem to show it when it comes to all those treats in the cupboard or when you’re the chauffer for all their activities, which invariably get in the way of you making it to the gym.

If you are in the constant pursuit of control, you are at the same time, whether you’re aware of it or not, denying or changing your own reality and probably relying on willpower to get you through. Willpower – after you have exhausted yourself getting the kids ready for school, yourself ready for work, organizing sports schedules and homework and oh... “What’s for dinner?” It is no wonder we don’t have anything left at the end of the day. And yet we still depend on it and expect it to be there; “If I could just control my willpower over (insert control), then I would be fine and the weight would fall off.”

Life isn’t that easy, and neither is your journey to better health. To expect that it is, is only setting yourself up for failure.

To expect that you will eat perfectly every day.

To expect that you will feel like eating all of your vegetables every day.

To expect that you will hit the gym six days a week.

EXPECT. CONTROL. WILLPOWER = SHIT STORM!

It is a far better investment of your time and energy to plan for success, but expect that that plan won’t always roll the way you want it to. Instead, roll with the punches. Satisfactory is better than perfect. Good is better than perfect. Either way, it is still progress in the right direction.

Swap the statement “If I could just get control over X, I would…” with “What do I fear the most about what I am doing now?” Control tends to come from fear, and rather than setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration chasing illusionary control, face the fear head on. The worst-case scenario probably isn’t as bad in reality as it is in your mind.

XOXO,

Coach Cindy